View Full Version : Troy review by Az

04-06-04, 07:46 PM
Hello all and welcome to my review of Troy

Brad Pitt as Achilles, Eric Bana as Hector Orlando Bloom as Paris
Brian Cox as Agamemnon Diane Kruger as Helen
Sean Bean as Odysseus Peter O'Toole as Priam
Rose Byrne as Briseis Brendan Gleeson as Menelaus
Saffron Burrows as Andromache Julian Glover as Triopas
Tyler Mane as Ajax

what is it about The Princess Of Sparta Helen , falls in love with Paris of Troy and runs away with him back to Troy , this starts a huge rift between the spartans and the trojans who were on the verge of peace, so Agamenmon along with his brother Menelaus sets sail to whip ass on Troy bringing a reluctant Achillies with him to finally defeat the trojans , oh yeah and this is based on Homer's ( no not that Homer ) Illiad, allthough at the end of the credits its says inspired by Homer's Illiad, which mean that the can do whatever they want to , ( not kill off anyone , that was supposed to die in the books, turn a gay guy straight by having his lover suddenly become his cousin i.e Achillies and Patroclus )


04-06-04, 09:38 PM
7.5/10 sounds very generous going by the rest of your review TBH. I've not seen it myself and think I'll stick to picking up a copy of the Illiad if I see one ;)

04-06-04, 09:49 PM
you right , looking at my review I should have at least given the film a 6/10. :)

04-06-04, 10:35 PM
I really didn't fancy this before reading your review (and reviews in film mags) and now I'm sure I dont wanna see it. A friend saw it and fell asleep half way through - not exactly a glowing recommendation.

Oh and don't slag off Orlando Bloom. If there are ever any more roles which require a stupid braided haircut and a lot of fast arrow shooting, he is a definite ;)

04-06-04, 10:38 PM
So, is the Penny Arcade view of the film (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2004-05-24) pretty accurate then?

04-06-04, 10:44 PM
LOL seems about right. So Az was it better that Hulk coz I almost fell asleep in that!!

05-06-04, 08:54 AM
Nice review Az. Our first entry into this months forum competition (http://www.lanarchy.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=1782) :thumbs:

05-06-04, 12:12 PM
Thanks McB 8-) , Oh and Gob I somewhat did like Hulk better in terms of dialogue and characters ( heck even c.g.i hulk could have stolen Orlando Blooms role as paris if given the chance) Hulk was directed by Ang Lee who prevously directed sence and sensability , the Ice storm and Crouching Tiger hidden dragon (that kicked ass) and later this yr Brokeback Mountain, which is a story about 2 gay cowboys staring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, my point is that most of his films are percieved as somewhat arthouse films ,so that why the majority of the audience in hulk didnt like it, I think that it was 2 long and should have at least 15min cut from it.

07-06-04, 02:37 PM
Wow If Hulk was better, Troy must really suck!! ;)

07-06-04, 07:12 PM
tbh i cant believe he gave it 7.5 then changed it to a 6... i thought at most it deserved 4/10...

best example to describe it i can think of is... Gladiator minus the Good acting, Good battles, Good script, etc... the list continues...

07-06-04, 09:35 PM
Van Helsing deserves a 4/10

07-06-04, 09:37 PM
It's better than 30% of films then? Or are you scoring on a normal distribution? :)


07-06-04, 09:58 PM
How do you know 30% of films score 3/10? Since when where film ratings based entirly on other films? That would mean film ratings would have to all change if we went through a spat of crap or great films :tongueout:

07-06-04, 10:00 PM
My rating system goes all the way up to 11!

07-06-04, 10:02 PM
Mine goes up to 1010.... but it's in binary :lol: